Fatima's Testimony (Islam)

Fatima's Testimony

Listen to Fatima's testimony who is from Algeria who is a former Muslim.

Bear with me. I've never given my testimony in front of adults. Um, my ministry is to youth and people who are so much loved by my father. It's really hard, but, um, actually, um, I'll give you a little bit of history. It really actually started about when I was 11 years old when my dad left and went to California.

My parents, my mom and my brother and I stayed in Kansas City. And um, we had struggled. We had to move out of my childhood home into a two bedroom apartment. I shared my bedroom with my mother for two years. Praise the Lord because she's my best friend now.

Um, so I had started looking for the Lord and just kind of trying to figure out who I was and what was the meaning of life. I had friends who were Baptist and they would go to what was called Frontline, which was their youth group. And um, I go and they get all crazy about this guy named Jesus and um, start yelling at the demons or whatever and I just thought, okay, this is interesting.

Um, and kind of got into it. But then when school was over or Frontline was over and we all had fun, the next day at school, these same Baptists were cussing and talking about this party and that party that they went to and who's dating who and all of these things.

And I thought, this is really stupid. Why go do all that and then go do these other things and be so convicted about it and make your life miserable. Why accept this Jesus if you're just going to be miserable? Just do what you want to do. So I just kind of flailed around for a while.

My brother had been going, he had been playing at, um, Front Line, playing guitar with some friends who went to this church. So I just kind of flaked out for a while and dad came back two years later. Um, it was really hard for me because then once he came back, mom moved out and my 17 year old brother moved into the room.

And I'm sure that just about killed him because the walls were covered with new kids on the block. And so, um, but that was a blessing too because I got to know my brother and, and um, we became very close. So it was really hard to move out of that place when it was time to move on into a bigger home.

Um, that had become a growing time for me, but I was still very mad at my father. I was mad at him leaving and then upheavaling our life and then deciding to walk right back in and nothing had ever changed. So we moved to a different area and just kept doing.

But These Baptist people just wouldn't leave me alone. So then they started taking me to things. And one time I came home. I remember I came home and my dad had known that I had spent this weekend with these Baptist people. And he kind of asked me what I had been doing.

I said, well, you know, God stuff. You know, I don't know. And he just didn't really ask too much. He just wanted to know what we had done. So I couldn't really give him too much because I wasn't saved. So I, um, just kept going. And finally I thought, you know, I am this mix of a person.

Um, my friends don't have any idea what half of my culture is about. I've always identified with the American side of me. And, um, wanted to know more about who this Arab in me was and what these Arab people believe. And I went to my dad and I asked him, you know, what is Islam?

I don't know what it is. You know, I've always told my friends that I'm Muslim, but I haven't a clue what that means. Um, so he just kind of went over to the shelf and took down The Koran and gave it to me and said, here, read this. I remember that day because he was on his way out the door to go to work.

And, um, I went upstairs. I kind of looked at it a little bit and set it down. And then when I went back to it, I just kind of picked through it. I didn't really go through the whole thing. I got to where it talks about, um, the unimportance of women.

And by that time, I had what I call a feminazi. I was just like, women are equal and I'm not having this. So I just read that and flew that to the side, said, okay, we're not going there. So.

And I didn't really do anything after that. And that was about. I think that was like, September of 92, somewhere around in there. And, um, what, eight months later, my dad all of a sudden became very distant. Um, I found him crying a lot, spending a lot of time alone in a room and all of these things.

And I just kind of watched, asked mom what was going on, and she just kind of. I don't know. And then finally, all of a sudden, we're going to church. I thought, what in the world is this? Getting up early, driving 45 minutes to get to church, and why are we doing this?

And, um, finally figured out that my dad had gotten saved. And I kind of knew what that was because I had Hung around with the Baptists. And so I thought, okay, I know what the saved thing is. But it made me angry. It made me very angry. Because all the time that I was searching for something, um, I never got any answers.

But most of all, my dad had become a Christian. And, um, that didn't make me different anymore. I'd go to school and the kids would say, oh, I go to this church, and I go to that church. What church do you go to? I don't go to church. I'm Muslim.

As if I knew what that meant, you know? But it made me different and made me mysterious and made me more liked because they wanted to know more about me. So when my dad became a Christian, I thought, oh, I'm not different anymore, you know? So my niche was gone.

And, um, we started going to church and kind of got into the youth group thing. It was a very small church, and so I just kind of played the game. Um, I knew enough, um, to honor my father. I knew that, um, before even I knew the word of God, that honoring your father and mother would give you a long and happy life.

Um, and so I just did what they asked. And I went to youth group and tried to sabotage the youth group because it wasn't a very big one and it wasn't a very strong one. So I thought, okay, I'm the most influential. Let's see how far I can knock these kids down.

So, um, little did I know that they were all praying for me at the same time. And we went to a youth conference called Acquire the Fire. And I had listened to this man talk about this fervency for Christ. And I had never heard anybody talk this way before about God, not even when I had gone to any other youth group.

And, um, the word of God became real to me. And, um, they had an altar call second night. And at that moment, I realized that I am a filthy, nasty sinner. I'm trying to knock these people down. I'm trying to hurt them just to make myself feel better. And this is ridiculous.

And so I just stood up. I stood up and asked for the Lord to come and live in my heart, live in my life, and be all. Be a part of me. And, um, just had. It wasn't emotional, and it wasn't. It was very, um, very logical. It wasn't.

I thought at first, well, maybe this is wrong, because I'm not really feeling anything. You know, I'm not getting emotional. I'm not having the shakes or anything like that. But, um, he just came in my life. And, um, the amazing thing was my father and I had been fighting the whole time about moving closer to the church.

And I was so mad because he wanted to rip me away from my friends all of a sudden and move closer to this church. And I got home from a choir, the fire. And we got in the car and we were driving home and I said, when do we move, dad?

And he was just kind of surprised. And he said, well, you know, you have to finish your sophomore year at school. And I said, okay. And that was in April, April 19 of 94, almost a year actually, to the day of when my father had been saved. Um, many things that happened to bring me to that point.

A friend of mine had accidentally committed suicide. Um, he had gotten high and stuck a gun in his mouth, messing around and blew off the back of his head. My mortality really hit me in the face because at 15 you are thinking you are invincible. You can do anything.

You've got a whole life ahead of you and, and nothing's going to change that, especially in this country. Um, now, like Mehran was saying, that would be a totally different reality to me if I were living in the Middle East. But here we're so protected. We think that I'm going to be alive forever, I'm going to have kids, I'm going to get married, I'm going to do all of these things.

And so my mortality just hit me in the face. And I realized that I'm not going to live forever. This was just a stupid thing. This was an accident. And he's gone. I was playing, having a snowball

to see, um, um, him, you know, he never. I'd never seen my dad read anything really other than the paper. And he just couldn't get enough of this book that he had in front of him. I couldn't figure out what was so interesting about this. And he was constantly, constantly reading it back and forth.

And I just kind of sit and watch him and see him with his highlighter just going nuts. And I was just like, goodness. So I finally opened the book myself and I, um, asked my dad, where do I start? Where do I, you know, I had heard many people say, start at John.

So he said, read John, and I read John. And um, Jesus became a person instead of some deity up here. He became my friend, my, um, father, my savior, my husband. Um, and ah, through Christ coming into my life, my relationship with my father has completely changed. It took time of understanding him, um, and changing in my life because I used to think just Change him, Lord.

Because as a kid growing up in the United States, I'd see to all my friends with this dad who would do all these things with him, you know, these Americans. So all I ever wanted was an American dad. I didn't want a different dad because I wanted an American dad.

Um, but then I took a good hard look at my dad and saw all the amazing things that I have in him. And I also learned too, that my relationship with the Lord was never going to change until my relationship with him changed. I would come to a plateau in my walk and then the Lord would have just go, you can't do anything.

I'm not going to reveal myself to you more. And so you let this bitterness and anger go against him. And, um, I wanted so much more of Christ and I wanted to know him so badly, but my right to be hurt, my right to be angry, stopped me from doing that.

And since then, I mean, it was through just blocking. I've been saved seven years, um, which for this culture and this country, for a 15 year old to be saved and still be saved to this day. And walking in the light of God is an interesting thing. Um, I've learned that honoring my parents is the most important part of my walk with Him.

They are the representation of my God. To me, they are a manifest representation of Him. And when I don't listen to him, my walk with God just changes. So many things have happened and more and more God just. I moved back, we live at Heartland now, but for a year I moved back to Kansas City.

And for a little while I felt what it was like to be Esther. I'd call my dad and he'd be my Mordecai and say, okay, do this and go fast, Go pray, do this, do that. And so finally I thought, you know, he's my Mordecai. He is my Mordecai.

And, uh, now he's worked in my life, but now I work with teenagers. I work with teenagers every day. I actually, I run a dorm for, um, behavioral problem teenage girls. And, um, these are girls that their parents don't know what to do with them anymore. They've tried everything and now they've got to turn it over to somebody else.

And, um, I do the ministry with the girls. And there's so many times that his words come back in my head and I, uh, am able to speak them into their lives. And I'm blessed because of the things that he has done in me to be able to help teenagers and to love them because I was an introvert.

I didn't like teenage girls. They drove me nuts. I was never a teenage girl. I went from 15 to 35, so. But praise the Lord. He's got me where I need to be and it's awesome. He's awesome to me and he's wonderful.

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord Open the eyes of my heart I want to see you

I want to see you

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord Open the eyes of my heart I want to see you

I want to see see you to see you High and lifted up Shining in the light of your glory Pour out your power and love as we sing Holy holy holy

holy holy holy Holy Holy Holy holy holy Holy uh, holy I want to see you

Holy holy holy Holy uh Holy Holy holy holy holy I want to see you

I want to see you

I want to see you.

Came to say.